I do not expect, or want my children to have to say “Excuse me” from the table. I do want to know where they are going if they are leaving before we are, so they do have to ask if they can leave, which is almost the same thing. My father also keeps at them for setting their knife and fork together on the plate when they are done, which I also do not care for. Especially as both kids have the tendency to put the knife down and move their fork over to their right hand and just use that (despite our protestations) it is far to easy for them to have just put them both down and not be done, so it means very little to us. They also have the habit of saying they are done, or full, when they either do not like what is in front of them, or are being held up from getting to something they wanted to do. So the self declaration of finished is sceptically met, and when the plate is empty it is obvious, so I tell them that the knife/fork placement means little to me. If someone asks if you want more of something, or if you want some of the dessert on offer, “yes” will suffice. I do not see the need to add “thank you” or “please” onto the end of something offered. You can, I do not mind, just do not expect it.
Things I DO expect though. You sit and ask for things to be passed instead of standing up and reaching across the table, “please and thank you”s included. And especially if someone goes out of their way to help…
During our usual visit to the library and we were in our usual states, all being distracted by different things we wanted to look for, amidst trying to keep Miss 2 entertained enough to not just randomly run through the shelves of books. This, of course, is only somewhat successful when she really gets her mind on the task of running free. On this particular visit one of the librarians had taken it upon himself to not just put some of the picture books away, but to reorganise entire shelves of them, which Miss 9 and Miss 12 were all too happy to help with. Which left me chasing Miss 2 to and fro. Having just successfully got her back to the little kids play/read area I took the opportunity to check up if a book I wanted to read was in. A brief unsuccessful search later and I returned to find Miss 2 gone. I quickly recruited Miss 12 to help search (Miss 9 was on her own book search at the time) and we looked up and down the library floor for the elusive prey. Having seen no sign of her in the aisles I looked at the front door of the library, open entrance way, and automatic exit door. *sigh* So I head toward the entrance, giving a last look inside and a quick perusal over the entrance area and start heading outside when I spot what looks like one of the librarians standing outside talking to two elderly women who I did not recognise. But wait, why was she bending down like that? Stepping to the side I spot Miss 2’s pink jumper amidst the women, she had left the library and was heading across the driveway towards the McDonalds next door. I can only assume the two women had stopped her, not forcefully, but stopped her nevertheless, and that the librarian had managed to spot her as she had gone out the door and recognising her as mine followed to try to retrieve her as I was not in sight at the time. Miss 2 was quite unperturbed, to the point that when I approached and started asking what she was doing, she started trying to cross the driveway again. I talked to her in that little semi positive voice when you want a kid to realise what ‘fun’ it would be to do what you ask them, and tried to usher her back into the library. Now, what has all this got to with the topic? In my attempt to get Miss 2 calmly back inside, all my attention was on her. I completely forgot to thank either the two women who had helped stop her, or the librarian for chasing her out of the library in the first place.
I do not always expect, or give, a please and thank you, but when three people help stop your two-year old from running off into the wild world, that, THAT is definitely, definitely a “thank you” time.
TheFatherOfThree
(I can go back and thank the librarian, I at least know what she looks like, and where to find her. Unfortunately I paid so little attention to the other two women that I would not even know if I met them again)
The Great Quest for a Fish
Well, a trip to the pet store with the potential pet owners in tow certainly helped. Miss 9 was shown how much more room was required for her pet choice, and they both looked interested in the fish that were available in the tanks, picking out ones they wanted, and little statues they wanted to go with them. So much so that that week their room suddenly managed to stay clean again. Hazzah!
This was all too quickly resigned again when the next week the sides of the bed were used for clothes dumping way too frequently. Which gives them a 2/7 score so far…I think. and 2/20 needed weeks for success. Not sure I can manage a pet store visit every week…